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December 04, 2004

Comments

tina

Hmmm.. the number 7 must be symbolic but for what? that's total bullshit what you have to put up with- i know she is silently condemning you to hell behind that fake smile.
if that mercedes was anywhere near my car it wouldve been moved with a few more scratches on the paint job. anyways, that thought makes me smile. I like how your post goes from pleasant to scathing.

i hope you find an even better apartment.

~Tina L.

Ezra Naomi

First things first, DO NOT LET THEM MOVE YOU OUT 1 second before your lease is up. You already know that you can't stay, so why not burn some bridges. First off, stay till the very last minute. Even if your apartment is empty, do not let those God-loving Jesus freaks step one foot into your apartment. No moving stuff in early, no measuring, no having the carpet guy come, NOTHING. Next step, intense mocking. Mock their values. Put up religous symbols from every other organization and then let those bastards know you are mocking them. You still have a few months left to fuck with them. Put up a no parking sign in your spot, and when they park their, get their car towed. Blatantly mock Jesus in front of them. Insinuate that he may have been into sex with animals.

I'll think up many more ways to extract revenge on these people. Just you wait. This is far from over.

Also, wasn't Silverlake where Quentin Tarantino's character lived in "Pulp Fiction?"

jenwoodhouse

hmm... god works in mysterious ways... maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
but yeah, before you accept his blessing, do what ezra says. lol.

terra naomi

<>

i especially love this one!

i awoke last night to these awful banging sounds coming from the main part of the house. i thought someone was breaking in - it was completely scary. i got my telephone and sat in my bed for a while, listening...then i got so freaked out that i bolted for my car and turned the headlights on, aimed at the house, and looked for any signs of interuders. i saw nothing. i drove up the street and back down, hoping to maybe see something that would explain the loud noises. nothing. so i went back into my apartment. i have no idea what made those noises. i'm gonna go ask her today when i get my mail. i'm hoping she says something like "oh, i was putting up some pictures" or "i was building a cross" because that will give me an excuse to let her have it.

terra naomi

oops - it didn't print the quote i liked from ezra's post - "put up a no parking sign in your spot, and when they park there, get their car towed."

i love that!

Ezra Naomi

Not just towed, but towed at their expense. If you really want to fuck with these people, there are a million ways. Ways to get them even after you move out...Are you familiar with the concept of an "Upper Tanker" It's a wonderful revenge tactic. Also, hiding fish, or shrimp around the house. In places they will never look, like behind a stove, in the hollow curtain rods, just get creative and go with it. Also, sign up their address for a ton of magazine subscriptions (from the drop out cards) and check "bill me later." Bonus points for really deranged porno mags, like "barely legal" "dogs on men" "just feet" and stuff like that. What about getting them on some sort of terrorist watch list? Anonymously call the FBI and tell them that the people are stockpiling guns and fertalizer. Jack up their car a little bit, put a brick under the axle and lower the car back down. the brick will keep the tires off the ground just enough so they can't drive it, but not enough that you will notice. When they step on the gas the wheels will just spin. Oh man, I could go on forever. If you do any of these, let me know, and take some pictures.

jen

wow, those are so friggin gooood, ezra. you're not an enemy to make, i take it.
i especially love the smelly fish and porno mag subscription idea. brilliant. BRILLIANT.

terra naomi

ya - that fish thing is AWESOME...thought they might think it's a gift from god...or a sign...or maybe they'll turn the fish into loaves...

Ezra Naomi

hahahah manna from heaven? Ok you need to do more religiousy pranks. Like reenact the plagues that God sent upon the Egyptians when they would not let the Jews leave. If you used your entire, out-stretched hand, where each finger is 50 plagues, we could really fuck with these people. Frogs, lice, killing of the first born, darkness, cattle plagues, oh man....I gotta come out to LA.

terra naomi

so this is what it takes to get you to visit me?!? wish i'd known earlier - i would have found myself some fundamentalist christian freaks to fuck with a long time ago!

Ezra Naomi

Well no, but it does give us something to do when I am there. Besides, I told you I would come out in January, and I still might.

Nat

It's too bad that your personality is not a beautiful as your voice is. You're gross and devoid of much love.

Nat

Oh yeah, you're classless.

terra naomi

hehe...i just saw these last two comments...i suppose i would be "full of love" and "classy" if i accepted jesus into my heart as my saviour and spent my self-obsessed little life doing so-called good deeds that might lead me to heaven in the afterlife while bending my own rules to the point that they are just barely recognizable and merely vehicles by which to justify the less than godlike injustices that i inflict upon most of the world in the name of god?

Ezra

Nat, just a quick question, have you ever shouted "I AM FULL OF CHRIST LOVE" ? What kind of coward can come on here and post a comment about someone and not have the courage to leave their email address? You can dish it out but can't take it?

WWJD? I bet he'd kick your ass you piece of shit.

And notice how I left my email address? Feel free to write.

terra naomi

hey ez - if there is some truth to all that crap they're preaching and hell does exist, you and i are gonna have a big old party down there someday...although, most of those religious people will be there, too, i suppose, since they are, for the most part, a bunch of hypocrites, so perhaps the party won't be as much fun as i'm imagining...party poopers...start doing your good deeds FOR REAL and leave hell for us heathens!

Ezra

Let's see, if they are right, and there is a hell, all my friends will be there. In fact almost EVERY person I have met will be there. The downside is, so will all those priests, terrorists, criminals, phony religious people, and pretty much everyone else. It will be one HELL of a party. Pun intended. In fact, I would venture so far as to say that our dear friend Nat will be there. If he is on the internet, I am sure he has looked at porn. Don't worry friend, I'll save ya a seat.

ezra- think of it this way.... hell is where the party will be. heaven is boring.

Canadienne Chix

LOL - I came across your blog page completely by accident but I have to admit that the entire thing kept me spellbound and captivated in some abyss that I cannot understand. I feel as though I have infringed upon your private life by reading most of it and I apologise if you are offended by my nosey intrusion...but your blog is so darn interesting, like a good book,,,,I couldn't put it down !
Then came the Christian posting !! Wow they are just about acting as NON-CHRISTIAN as any self-riteous group could. In fact being a true Christian means bringing people in....not pushing them out !! Like they have obviously done to you. I can see that this is an old topic for you and that the issue is getting old by now but something needs to be said in regards to people that have the idea that because of their beliefs...they are doing everyone else a favour by living amongst us?
Does this make any sense to anyone? I mean if they are supposed to be of a higher status all because their belief system tells them they must be....why are they not trying to be of a better influence and models of the community and not living in ways that disallows people with different moral values and beliefs as their own to be 'put out on the street' perse??? I applaud your outstanding courage and hope that you really did find far better acceptance in a new home with sane non-cultist neighbours.
It's amazing that the people who believe they are better...really act far more devilish than those that maybe think on a more even keel with society. People who feel they are better than others are far more likely to be of the misunderstanding that God did not create everyone equally---I tend to call that Narcisitic....now that is simply not what the bible preaches about equality what so ever ! Making those preaching their 'better word' far more ill educated and small minded than those who actually understand that God's word is not about anything they are living !!!
All the power to ya guys and I hope that your situation has improved...take a lesson from these jerks....never act the way they have acted towards you to anyone else that crosses your path...& you will find true acceptance and happiness in knowing that it's you that has the control over yourself...not some cult priestess that has decided...what's yours has to be hers !!!
Heeheee Love your blog and greetings from the Snow Lathen North !!
Hugs from another band bitchana --- Allie.

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