it's amazing what can happen when a person reveals another side of his/herself.
in a shocking discovery, we found out today that singer/songwriter terra naomi has more than ONE SIDE to her personality. stop the press.
wait. i thought she writes acoustic songs about saving the world!?
no - she writes songs about being a drug addicted pill head!
hold on - isn't she the one who wrote that song about being who she is and telling the world to fuck off if they don't approve?
how do we deal with....so....much.....life.......too...many...different....sides....can...not....compute....
sorry people, but if you want one-sided robotic music go listen to american top 40 radio. and guess what - i will continue to write the songs i have always written, long before i played them for any of you!! songs about love and death and fucking and sleeping and drugs and my mom and all sorts of stuff which you may or may not know is in there when you listen to my music, as i choose to present it to the world.
again, it is time to take a step back and from this online world, i think. because when i read some of the things people write, i just get disappointed. our inability to let something be what it is - the need to categorize things and put things into a neat little box - and what the hell will we do if the linear, two dinemsional thing we think we know because we see it on front of us in a little 2" box on our computer monitor - what will we do if that thing does something we don't expect. clearly we know all about that thing which likes to think of itself as a person. clearly, we know best. so we'd better let that thing know that we don't approve of its obviously pressured "decision" to change itself into something it most certainly is NOT.
i understand. really, i do. and it's not just the general public: for as long as i've been a dark-haired female singer, i've found comparisons to artists i sound nothing like. i can name 10 other artists i sound more similar to than some of the artists i'm compared to - and i look for the similarity with those artists....and all i see if something on the outside. and maybe female anger. like someone in the last 10 years came up with that concept. there was recently an article in an italian magazine which compared me to "aretha franklin meets radiohead." now, while i can't say i completely understand that comparison, at least the writer was thinking of something when he/she came up with that.
and now i've gone and written a song about stealing someone's boyfriend. and it's the first single from the album. oh.......i'm venting tonight. i've got to. but please do not start writing to me, telling me why it's ok that i have a multi-faceted personality, because i already know that and really don't want to hear it. i don't know why i write a blog sometimes - because i obviously know that people are going to read it. it's almost like my little attempt to strike back some nights, and other nights it's simply to share what's going on....it's like my non-biased truth-reporting online news source, amidst a sea of speculation and agendas. i can state the truth, directly from my brain, and in saying so i remember what my truth actually is. it is not what someone decides to write after seeing my show for 30 minutes and sizing me up. it is not what someone writes after watching my video for 3 minutes and 30 seconds (obviously a time engineered by the record label evil empire in their attempts to force a radio single out of this once innocent songwriter) in one dress with one hairstyle on one day in one month in one year of this one part of my life.
and again, i remind myself that i do the same thing sometimes.
but here, on my computer, i can remind myself of the truth and a few people can read it. maybe not as many people as will read the reviews or listen to the comments, good, bad, indifferent, whatever those comments may be.....but a few people will know what really goes on, and that gives me some sense of peace, in a really simple, passive-aggressive kind of way.
make sense of that and you win the prize. but like i said, please don't let me know about it.
oh - and have you ever had the experience of seeing yourself on a video from a time right after your relationship fell apart and you look at yourself and the way you carried yourself and the way you didn't look after your appearance because you were so freaked out and depressed but maybe you started to look like that and feel like that long before it was actually over and you finally understand why he completely lost interest in you in every way possible? it's quite the epiphany, let me tell you. and then you burn the tape, right? or do you save it somewhere for future torment?
not that i know anything about that. it was a hypothetical sitaution. a daily poll. (but, remember, please don't answer it in an email to me.)
i can't keep up with the emails. not complaining, just letting you know. i will no longer be answering my youtube messages. at least not for a while. answered a whole bunch of myspace messages today and i think that caught me up on about 5% of the unanswered mail sitting online waiting for me...looming large.
managed to write a new song which i really dig. might play it sometime soon. probably not at the album release, but who knows.
on a positive note, i'm so excited for everything coming up in the next few months. hopefully that will include a really cool tour of the UK and or europe. not sure where, when, with whom, how, etc etc, but i'm putting it out there because i know it will happen.
on another positive note, 'not sorry' is climbing the charts here in the UK. was in the 70's last week, when it first went to radio, and this week went into the 50's, making a 20 point jump in one week. i'm told that's pretty good, so i'm happy. can't wait to see it in the teens and then to #1. will be neat. all i can do is continue to play shows, write songs, do interviews....the song is out there and worrying about it will not help at all. stations will play it or they won't and people will buy the album or they won't. of course, i believe they will. so we shall see.
ok, more later. later meaning not now, as opposed to later tonight. cuz i'm going to sleep!
xo