i will admit to being a bit confused by the major transition from los angeles to london, from driving myself around in my car playing shows to having people drive me to shows, from feeling like there was nothing to lose since i really didn't have anything anyway to feeling like there is so much invested in my career now. it used to be just my dreams, my years of work and struggle, my time, my (lack of) money - and now there are so many more people involved...so many more expectations...
most of the time i'm excited. well, a lot of the time. wait - does excitement feel like fear and anxiety? hmm...we filmed the video for the 2nd single, 'up here,' in los angeles and it was an incredible experience. i guess that's all i can expect out of this journey. lots of incredible experiences. and there's not much more to ask for in life, really. the video is great. i know this. i can honestly say that it is a beautiful video and i cannot imagine it being any better. we were able to fly my band in at the last minute, and i was so grateful to have them there with me and in the video.
we also ended up doing a last minute recording session for the 'up here' single. it's going to be a very special single. it will include 2 songs which i have not previously recorded and i'm really excited about it. it's out in november.
let's start at the start...so why did that line pop into my head when i sat down to write this blog....oh ya...i guess i want to be more involved with my blog and website and myspace and youtube again. there aren't many things over which i have control these days. obviously, the music i write, the shows i play, the decisions which are made regarding my career - those are things which i am very actively involved in. but the other things - all the unknown and "pointless to think about" things - those are out of my hands. all i can do is continue to do what brought me to london in the first place. and maybe will take me away from london and to wherever else i end up spending some time. who knows.
it's amazing how the same issues present themselves at every stage of this career. and the same questions. and i don't know what keeps me going sometimes but i haven't stopped yet....so........
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