i'm back from LA.
it was the first time i've really truly loved being in los angeles. i didn't want to leave. had some amazing experiences and met some incredible people. and found, after a year in london, that the sun does indeed still exist. i didn't even mind the traffic. just listened to music and drove my little old man rental car. it was a silver 4-door ford sedan.
i stayed with my brother, spent tons of time with my friends, thought about what is important to me and where i want to go next, went to some fun dinners...LA style dinners, that is...my brother and i ordered a pasta dish which we were going to share, and i swear, all conversation stopped and every head in the room turned to stare. i don't know when the last plate of pasta was ordered at a west hollywood restaurant. judging by the horrified looks on our dinner guests' faces, i'd say it had been quite some time since the "p" word was last spoken by anyone but an apologetic waiter.
needless to say, we changed our order to seared tuna with steamed broccoli and snap peas and a salad. which we picked at.
thing is, the same man who warned us of "carb face" ordered all these amazing desserts and practically forced us to eat them. just when you thought you knew the rules...maybe he was bringing us all down with him. "dammit, if i'm gonna have carb face, then everyone at this table is gonna have carb face!"
it was refreshing to get back to the land of the thin. i always did love feeling like the fattest person in the room. my ego (and my ass) was probably getting a bit too big over here in london, what with all the massive success i've been experiencing (hints of sarcasm), so it was good to experience that old familiar sense of self-loathing.
LA definitely plays by a different set of rules. i have experienced the good, the bad and the ugly in that city. how i wish i could write everything on this blog....how i wish i could tell you guys everything i have experienced as of late. but i can't. someday i will, if only to warn you of potential missteps. although we all need to experience our own cliches, right? the ones which happen over and over again, which we feel ourselves stepping into while we tell ourselves "nope, won't happen to me!"
it's amazing what can happen when we make the right decisions for ourselves, though. i can't even tell you what i experienced in LA. for many reasons. at some point i will fill you in. or you will not need to be filled in, because you will already know. in that case, i will elaborate on all of it, and give you as much inside scoop as i feel comfortable giving at the appropriate time. let's just say it's all good. and such an incredibly positive affirmation of the decisions i've made in the past few months. major decisions which were some of the hardest i've ever had to make. this trip to LA showed me, through chance encounters and crazy coincidences, that all is well.
looking out on a dreary, rain-soaked london street and remembering that the sun still shines,
terra