naomiland

my british teeth

as some of you know after reading YESTERDAY'S BLOG, i went to the dentist.

it had been over a year and a half since i saw my dentist, basically the entire time i was in london. call me crazy, but english dentists just didn't seem like the best idea, and i decided to wait til i got back to my dentally superior homeland.

my dentist's office is located in beverly hills.
and it's not called a "dentist's office" but a dental SPA.
the funny thing is, i never would have picked a posh dental spa in beverly hills, but he's covered by my SAG insurance, so i figured why the hell not.

plus, he has this:

a constantly changing screen of soothing images meant to distract me from the torture of a dental technician scraping away at all kinds of left over english shit on my teeth.

after the scraping, it was time to talk to my posh dentist about "the plan."
aka "fork over the cash and i'll keep your teeth from falling out. and try to sell you a teeth whitening package because i'm one step away from used car salesman."

i knew i was in for some pain when he opened the conversation with:
"so, did you really let your dental hygiene go in the last year?"

bring it.

and now for the best part of my trip to the dentist:

i needed to share that with you.
because i have no shame.

now i'm off to sign more CDs and guitar picks.
and sort out the details of recording my album.
and because i'm so excited about all this stuff and can't keep myself from telling you before i'm supposed to, here's something really cool:
i'm selling all kinds of stuff in order to help fund this album, and one of the things which will be up for sale on the website when it launches in the next couple of weeks is A DAY IN THE STUDIO WHILE WE RECORD THE NEW ALBUM!!!
and i'll give you lunch, too.
(i think the studio will be up in malibu, which will be super cool, but don't hold me to that, because details could change.)

there will be lots of other cool stuff up for grabs, but that one is particularly cool in my opinion.

ok - time to get to work.
i hope you are enjoying your day!
love
terra

my culturally rich life

it seems that everyone and their mother went to BED, BATH & BEYOND this weekend.
(that expression is truly fitting in this instance, as there is a great chance that all of our moms actually DID go to bed, bath & beyond this weekend!)

i went in search of a food processor, and found a whole lot more.
art like i've never seen it.
i would post the photos i took, but james gunn already posted these fine works of art, complete with titles and commentary, so check out HIS BLOG if you want to read all about it.
(warning: james has a DARK sense of HUMOR. don't read his blogs if you're an uptight bitch/prick.)

yesterday was spent signing things for you people.
i asked for some special free gift ideas, and you guys basically wanted everything i already had planned for you - signed guitar picks, tshirts, buttons, etc.
some of you wanted predictably weird shit like "go on a date with you!" and i'm sorry to inform you that i will not be sending "go on a date with you" along with your CDs.
first of all, i have no concept of how to package and ship that, and secondly....just NO.

as many of you know, most "autographed" band stuff is not actually autographed by the band.
(and for those of you whose dreams i just shattered, i apologize.)
HOWEVER - now, when you order TERRA NAOMI AUTOGRAPHED SHIT, it will actually be SIGNED BY ME.
not a printed signature (like the guitar picks that came with my 'virtually' cd - those were printed in a factory. i never even touched 'em.)

here is the proof:

i signed 1000 picks and 1000 CDS.
half way there.

and here's why:
i'm re-releasing THIS CD from 2002:

2000 copies.
that's all.
and every CD will be signed.
there will be other stuff to order with it, and i'll post more info on that very soon!
the CD will be sold through my NEW WEBSITE (coming soon!!!) and every penny made will go towards the recording of MY NEXT ALBUM!!!
i will explain it all very soon.
watch this space!!!

so i just finished my second bowl of raisin bran.
i remembered this TV commercial from when i was a kid, and it showed the sun with 2 SCOOPS of RAISIN BRAN!!!
so i poured myself another bowl because the TV told me to.
but then i remembered that the sun was actually pointing out the TWO SCOOPS of RAISINS in kellogg's raisin bran.
and now i'm just fat.
if it weren't for that darn vomit phobia i could just puke it up and fix my mistake, like everyone else in this city.
oh well.
at least i still have enamel on my teeth.

and speaking of which - i'm going to the dentist in a few hours.
totally scared that he'll notice my lack of flossing over the past year and a half.
flossed like 20 times last night and this morning, trying to make up for it, and now my gums are swollen and sore and he'll probably try to sell me something.
like teeth whitening.
("that's just blood, doctor.")

more tomorrow.
unless i find something better to do with my time.
xox
terra

PORN!!!

i just posted a new blog, but you'll have to go to myspace to read/watch it.
because it's MY blog and that's how i feel this morning.

now go:

MY BLOG ABOUT PORN!

xox
terra