naomiland

oh - about yesterday's quote

my dad wanted to know why i posted yesterday's quote. i think he was concerned.
see, he thought i had chosen a really safe, considerate, friendly business, which is why he was willing to give his blessing to the whole endeavor.  (just kidding)

but anyway - as many of you know, i've been sick with the flu. which means lots and lots of movies.
yesterday i watched 'amadeus' for the first time in a long time. watched mozart get f*cked around for 2 and a half hours by a whole bunch of people with more power and less talent. (essentially.)

thus the quote.

try and say it better

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.

hunter s. thompson

london is coughing

it's insane.
i've never seen anything like it.
i was sick 2 times during the entire year of 2007. and haven't had the flu in years.
then i moved into a house with other people.
now i remember one of the benefits to living alone.
i'm trying really hard not to be bitter, i swear. but it's really frustrating to take such good care of myself and then keep catching illnesses that are brought into the house. i have been able to fight this one off for a few days, but it looks like i might not win this time. and i'm just getting over the house cough!
and now this.
ugghhhhh
trying to be positive.
i'm just pissed off at the moment, as i sit here, feeling the beginnings of aches and chills and chest congestion. for f*ck's sake.
i'm not made for house shares.

i wonder if i'll move in london as often as i moved in LA and NYC? 6 times in under 4 years, in each city, i think. pretty mad.
i've already lived in 1 hotel, 1 flat and 1 house in the past 11 months in london.
i wonder where i will end up next.
as long as it's not under the bridge we're doing fine...

had a great meeting yesterday and i cannot wait until i can unveil some of the exciting plans we have for 2008. things are totally changing, and it's all very new and untested and just the way i like it. i'm not exactly normal, so why take the normal route. it's never worked for me. i'm glad people finally get that!

i should be able to let you know about some stuff by the end of next week.

oh - and similar to my list blog that i posted last week, there is a new website which is super cool and fun.
it's called POLL THE PEOPLE
i've already created a profile on there.
check out the website and see if you like it.
i think it's a great concept.

xox
terra

something i've learned

as you know, i like to pass along little bits of info sometimes.

i was just thinking about this one, in light of some current issues in my life....
i know i don't speak for all females, but i also know that i speak for a whole lot of us when i say that, as females, we often try to make other people feel good by saying certain things, affirming, supportive, positive things, that may or may not be true. or maybe they are kind of true, but we exaggerate the magnitude of these things, or their importance.

i am so guilty of this sometimes. for whatever reason, i like making people feel good about themselves. i have also been guilty, in the past, of not letting a person know when he is wrong. it's often been easier to just go along with what someone thinks - let him think what he needs to think, in his own mind, in order to feel good about himself. avoiding the confrontation of correcting someone's inflated sense of importance or straight up delusional thinking in various situations.

i don't know if this makes sense to whoever happens to be reading this. maybe it does. maybe you do or have done the same thing.

i guess what i hope to achieve by writing this is that someone reading will go "hey - i do that and now i know i need to stop!"

because you do.

it seems like such an unimportant thing at the time, right - let someone believe whatever they want to believe - it doesn't hurt me, because i know the truth and that's all that matters. i think my hippie parents put that thought into my head. (hehe i love you mama and papa!)
they obviously weren't thinking like business people. and i'm glad they weren't, for the most part, because i love the way i was raised and the values they instilled in me.

but back to the point - ya, knowing the truth is all that matters until your faulty praise and aversion to acknowledging shortcomings are used against you in some way. imagine the pain of seeing words you wrote only with the best intentions, always thinking about someone else's feelings - imagine finally wanting to let that person know how you feel, and there it is, in writing - your words - used to try and disprove your own true thoughts, your own truth, once you try to set the record straight.

ahhhh
it's all hypothetical, of course.
of course.
uh huh.

but in my recent pursuit of the truth i realize that i have done this so much in the past and i want to stop.  only the truth from here on out. even though it is so much easier to let things go by and make someone else feel good for the moment.

it's all just a cop out. even with the best of intentions.
and we just make things harder for ourselves.
please stop putting other people's needs before your own.
(that is a message to myself.)
i've pretty much stopped doing it at this point.
telling people the truth about how you feel, even when it's not complimentary, is much less scary than it seems.
if you're doing the shit i wrote about in the above post, just stop.
ask yourself what YOU want. who YOU are. what YOU think.
and know that you deserve to express yourself honestly. even if it makes the person you're talking to feel kind of bad. more likely, you'll just let that person know that your opinions matter and you value yourself and your needs. and if you are being honest and reasonable, and the person reacts badly to that, then you need to get away from that person!

ok - i sound like a self-help book - sorry.

it's just so painful, frustrating, infuriating, maddening, intensely awful to go through some of these things and learn the lessons associated with them. i know everyone has to learn for herself, but if i can help someone figure something out a little faster, then there is at least one positive thing which comes from having gone through the shit.

and now for a laugh:
check out my friend arlan's latest blog masterpiece:
stuff straight people like!

it's a reaction to this little masterpiece of social commentary:
stuff white people like
#62, "knowing what's best for poor people" just plain kicks ass. genius.

i laughed out loud many times, and there's still so much more to read.

this is pretty damn accurate, too:
the top 10 rap songs white people like
although they forgot NWA's 'straight outta compton' and pretty much anything from snoop's first album produced by dr. dre. we love that shit. although we tend to feel a bit uncomfortable singing along due to the liberal sprinkling of certain unmentionable words.

talk about a change of subject, yo.

mad love
terra

oh well.

i have crazy ideas

and i can't wait to see them change from thoughts to reality.
i have plans and goals for the next 6 months of my life, and i see them unfolding every day.
rehearsed 4 new songs with the band yesterday.
already have a video idea for one of the songs. and it's coooooooool.
we are recording demos on monday. rehearsing again today and tomorrow.
i finally feel like i know exactly what i want to do and how i want to do it.
and i feel like i know how to make those things happen - the steps which need to be taken.
we know how we want the stage to look when we play a show - the way we want our shows to feel.
everything is starting to make so much sense.
finally.
clarity.

and i'm excited because i think i'm going to be able to attend my cousin's bat mitzvah in seattle at the end of march! i have not been able to attend a major family event in a long long time. i've either been on tour or in the studio or doing other career related stuff, and it's nearly impossible to plan things when you have no idea of your schedule. but i decided to book the ticket. and if i have to cancel my trip, i will deal with it. the thought of seeing aunts, uncles, cousins who i haven't seen in years is so exciting. and of course my mom, dad and brothers. i can't wait.

i will post bits of new songs really soon.
stay tuned...
lots of love
terra

it begins...

i have 3 rehearsal dates booked with the guys and then we're recording some demos of my new songs!
i probably don't need to tell you this, but i'm f*cking excited.
i also have a lot of lyrics to memorize!
with the exception of a couple of the songs, i wrote everything within a 2 week time period, and i basically know the words i wrote, but sometimes i forget, given that there are about 14 new songs.
we'll only record 4, i think.
and i'm so happy with my recent 30 day photoshop trial download...just made a banner for my myspace page. i feel like i'm moving into a new flat and slowly decorating all the rooms.
hanging up photos, dusting off shelves, making it my own. 
i feel so empowered by photoshop....like i can finally  keep up with all the 12 year olds....making banners, using code...all that stuff scared me til recently.
now i'm all over it.

today i cooked lunch for salvie and giorgio. giorgio is our friend. his band is called vadoinmessico and you can find it in my top friends on myspace. they were recording here at the house, and i decided to cook linguini with mussels, chili, white wine and garlic. very light sauce, very yummy. risky to cook pasta for an italian, but i think i did ok. 
and i gotta say - the fresh mussels at tesco are really good! i was a bit nervous. never cooked mussels before. had to pull off all this weird plant-like stuff which was sticking out from their shells. i felt really bad doing it. but not bad enough to travel to the ocean and dump them back in.

ok i'm off to learn lyrics. and practice.
this is fun.
xo
terra

chatty

i'm so chatty lately.
i think i just wrote a novella to my brother.
was intended to be a simple email, but all i wanna do is plan, discuss, plan, discuss, rinse and repeat.
my head is full of new ideas, and it feels amazing.
as soon as i mention one thing, it's like the ideas start pouring out and i can't stop typing.
so it seems like a good time to blog.
tire out my fingers a bit, maybe!

i rehearsed the new songs with the guys the other day. did i already tell you this? i can't remember. gonna book a bunch of rehearsals and get things going. hopefully start playing shows in march.
and i will also make some of the new songs available soon.
not sure how i'm gonna do that. got lots of ideas....will know more about that this coming week.
but you can expect a major redo of the online world.
and lots of new stuff.

ok.
enough of that.
what else?

last night i went to see my friends play music at a club in east london.
i really like east london, despite my best attempts to declare it too hip, too trendy, not for me, etc.
went to shoreditch house for the first time, too. i wanted to hate it and think it was lame, but i actually really liked it and wish i lived closer so i could spend all of my free time there. well, maybe not all of my free time, but they have pink velvety chairs and a yummy looking restaurant and a spa. and you can get your toenails painted and drink watermelon martinis, if you want.
the watermelon martinis are just speculation. i don't actually know if they have them, but i'm guessing they do.
there were small children in sport coats with leather  elbow patches.
and everyone was really nice to me.
i don't think i'm meant to be there, really. i mean,  yes, i am technically allowed to be there, but it seems like another world where i really don't belong. but somehow i'm in there, legally, and no one can kick me out and it's all a bit posh but i don't care because it's fun to sit in the pink chairs.
even though i had a slight disappointment at my meeting there. it was a good meeting, and the disappointment was nothing major, nothing having to do with anything of any real consequence, but i basically wanted to do something with someone who is unable to do that thing with me, even though he would like to.
hahahaha
sounds really vague and a bit misleading.
it's not a personal thing in any way, so please don't think i'm cheating on my boyfriend!
just bizniz.
it's ok, though. because i am on a path and i'm being led in all the right directions. open to everything, and everything is opening for me.

time to take a walk in the sunshine.
a rare, sunny, blue sky day here in london.
i love it.
xoxoxox

part 1: the pursuit of....

me.

here are some of the things i like:

TV (starting with this one cos it's the easiest as there are not too many shows i actually watch):
family guy
alan partridge
the simpsons
the mighty boosh
peep show

places (these are my favorite places in the world, so far, which will evolve as i travel more, i'm sure):
big sur
nyc
real de catorce

movies (this is the hardest category, aside from music, because i like so many and tend to forget them as soon as i see them, but here goes):
west side story
amadeus
drugstore cowboy
pan's labrynth
the lives of others
annie hall
coming to america
goonies
the breakfast club
sunset boulevard
gimme shelter
walk the line
casino
pulp fiction
the royal tenenbaums
40 year old virgin
edward scissorhands
little miss sunshine
the wizard of oz
best in show
almost famous

books (also hard, because i haven't read any in quite some time, but i seem to remember liking these):
midnight's children
the ground beneath her feet
the executioner's song
invisible man
the corrections
the sun also rises
the world according to garp
i'm reading the people's history of the united states of america at the moment and it's great.

favorite albums (this is where it gets hard):
blue (joni mitchell)
hunky dory (david bowie)
sticky fingers (rolling stones)
xo (elliott smith)
legend (bob marley)
songs in the key of life (stevie wonder)
ok computer (radiohead)
sea change (beck)
the man and his music (sam cooke)
another side of bob dylan (duh)
siamese dream (smashing pumpkins)
unplugged (nirvana)
funeral (arcade fire)

favorite bands/artists:
radiohead
joni mitchell
david bowie
sam cooke
johnny cash
bob marley
bob dylan
eliott smith
bright eyes
the velvet underground
nirvana
the pixies
smashing pumpkins
smokey robinson
aretha franklin
arcade fire
chet baker

favorite days (at least the ones i can publicly share):
live earth
my birthday in 2007
new years eve going into 2007
christmas 2007
june 21 2006

whoa that's a lot to think about.
i'll add more later, in Part 2 and 3 and 4 etc etc etc

this is my new goal:
find out what i like
make lists til it all comes together in my head
allow those things i like to determine the choices i make
only do things that are true to who i am and what i like
do those things without judgment
be myself, unapologetically
make decisions based on what's good for me, never out of fear
take time to decide what i want
express and create truth as i see it

more later.

i have a cough.
lost my voice.
that's what happens sometimes when you are trying to express yourself.
the irony is not overlooked.

xo

how to

move past the moment when all you want to do is smash something.
but really, most things are going well.
i promise.
and when things are going well, the things that aren't so good really tend to stand out.
the thing about the dirty dishes in a clean house standing out more than the dirty dishes in a filthy mess of a flat.
and i've lived in both.
so i know.
i think my house is pretty clean these days. not too many dishes in the sink, and when there are, it's usually my mess and i clean it up when i get around to it.
i know which areas need more attention - the sink in my bedroom (yes, i have one) could be a bit more tidy. i could probably vacuum more often.
i'm aware of the areas that need work. and i also know enough to call a maid when the mess gets too big.
but sometimes someone else creates a mess and just leaves it there, and it's like they don't even know that a mess has been made and they just walk right past it, totally oblivious, and when you tell them to clean it up they're like "but that's not even a mess!"
and that's when i get really fucking angry.

exciting news and gardening

what a way to start 2008.
i'm going back into the studio to record new songs.
i have spent the last 2 weeks locked in my room, writing more than ever before.
and i have written my best songs so far.

2007 was a crazy year and things happened really fast and i'm going to share that story with you guys over the next week or so...catch you up on everything that happened and didn't happen and give you some insight into the future. well, my future, that is.

basically, i couldn't be happier with the way things are going.

i have an entire album's worth of new songs.  my label is sending 4 songs to 3 different producers and we'll go from there. i have really searched my soul for these songs, as goofy as that sounds! for me, it's been many months of deep confusion and sadness and feeling removed from my music. things happened so fast from the time i was recording my videos on the youtube virtual summer tour  - suddenly there was a rush to release my album, i was playing at live earth in london, and no one really expected any of this. i think everyone i work with was caught a bit by surprise. and me, most of all.

but i'm sure i'll talk more about that in another blog.

last month a friend of mine said to me "you need to get back to the garden."
at the time, i was about to head out to the middle of the desert in mexico, which seemed like the perfect place to look for answers.  i really took his words to heart. thought about what that meant to me, personally, and also to my music, my career, my place in the world. it's so easy to get caught up in a whirlwind and lose yourself sometimes.

at which point i think it's time to stop everything and take an honest look around. change the things which do not feel right. that is what i am doing. and luckily i have people who believe in me enough to make those changes alongside me.

the most important thing i have learned in the past year is that i always need to trust my own instincts and intuition. not those of the people around me. it does not matter who has more experience in any given area. if it does not feel right, then i need to listen to that. only i know what is right for me. such a difficult lesson to learn sometimes. i think we are constantly doubting ourselves. i know i am. not anymore, though. what an amazing gift to start out this new year with a newfound confidence and belief in myself and my intuition. i have not been wrong yet. the only decisions i regret in my life are the decisions i made when ignoring my own intuition and trusting other people.

i cannot wait to record these songs.
and i'll be blogging a lot during this process.
will keep you guys posted and probably post some new music soon.
and hopefully play some live shows very very soon.
lots of love
terra